i've got darkness in my brain - so it's like
The hardest thing is staying sane - I know i've tried
I'm tryna target all this pain - im not coping right
I'll just discard it all again i've got a show tonight

This is the harshest thing to say so I'll go and write
This letter's telling you my way things aint going fine
I just wanna hear you say, that it will go in time-
That's why i put the pen to page, yo show that no one knows my mind


Dear Mum, i've got some things to get off my chest
I'm very proud to be your son I know you did your best
You met my Dad when you were young, you guys were living blessed
Im kinda glad that that's all done so you can fix your heads

I can't speak on things I never was around to see
But It keeps seeming like the ceilings coming down on me,
Only now are you revealing why my clouds are bleak
It's like my brain had blocked it out so I count some sheep

I know I saw a lot of things that messed me up
Thats why my therapist keeps telling me i'm tough
But I can't tell em what it is, because it's rough
And If I did I wouldnt benefit, so now i'm feeling stuck

You didn't like the fact that I was always smoking weed-
But inside I was trapped so getting high would set me free
You wanna hear some nicer tracks but theres no hope in me-
That's why I thought i'd write this rap to tell you this stuff openly


i've got darkness in my brain - so it's like
The hardest thing is staying sane - I know i've tried
I'm tryna target all this pain - im not coping right
I'll just discard it all again i've got a show tonight

This is the harshest thing to say so I'll go and write
This letter's telling you my way things aint going fine
I just wanna hear you say, that it will go in time-
That's why i put the pen to page to show that no one knows my mind

I always hated seeing friction with you and dad-
Feels like every weekend in the kitchen I would view a scrap
Thats probably why I stayed my distance while moving mad-
Cause Theres only so much I could take as a human lad

I was sipping brandy, whilst inhaling smoke
I was sniffing Mandy and I was taking coke
Anything that made me dandy, now my brain is slow
And when I see myself i'm angry cause the pain wont go

But I dont want you scared cause suicide is not an option
I know you're always there, when I feel like i've got a problem
I find it hard to share but I feel like i've hit rock bottom,
I'm just wishing I was somewhere that was hot and foreign

I'm sick of working for a boss who thinks i'm stupid,
Next time she tells me off I swear i'm gunna lose it,
I always see her scoff when I say I do music-
But i'm busy being bothered by the fact my minds polluted

i've got darkness in my brain - so it's like
The hardest thing is staying sane - I know i've tried
I'm tryna target all this pain - im not coping right
I'll just discard it all again i've got a show tonight

This is the harshest thing to say so I'll go and write
This letter's telling you my way things aint going fine
I just wanna hear you say, that it will go in time-
That's why i put the pen to page to show that no one knows my mind

Trying to ease the pain with drinking isn't good for you
Im cutting down but can't help thinking that you should've too
We both feel drowned from all the sinking life has put us through
So look around cause we're still living but theres nothing new

I'm always on my guard so I know i'm defended,
Every word is from the heart and that's intended
So When i say that this was hard you know I meant it-
For now though i'm signing off Best regards Hendrik